Messing With People's Minds Online!
by FoxGlade
Summary: Me, pretending to be various Animorph characters and messing with some poor random people's heads. These are the conversation we have. Mild swearing, sexual references.


Okay. Omegle is a site on the internet where you get hooked up to a random stranger, and they expect you to become BFFs. Well, maybe not, but you get the picture. A lot of the people on there are just guys looking for cyber sex but some are pretty cool. Me and my friend Natalya (the only friend I have who has read Animorphs) were messing with peoples minds pretending to be like, I don't know, Jake recruiting new people, or Ax high on sugar, or Tobias being emo. This here is a conversation I had with a guy who had never heard of Animorphs (I hope). I'm being Ax, by the way. Read on!

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Omegle conversation log - 2009-08-02

Connecting to server...

**You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!**

**A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!**

Stranger: hey

You: hay is for horses

You: I am not a horse

You: although I do resemble one in some of my features

Stranger: thats a shame

You: I disagree. Four legs are much more sensible than a human's two

You: how do you stay standing? I cannot understand

You: ...not even a tail to balance with...

Stranger: balance

Stranger: horses smell terrible

Stranger: how do u live with that?

You: Andalites do not smell. Even if my humans friends think so, they do not. except for Visser Three

You: but he's a Yeerk, so it is only to be expected

Stranger: shouldnt you be in a glue factory somewhere?

You: what is a glue factory?

Stranger: its what horses are made into

You: is it similar to a "grew" factory?

You: I am sure horses are not made for glue. Cassie would not stand for it.

Stranger: not sure, are horses slaughtered in great numbesrs in grew factories?

Stranger: and who are these people(?) u keep referring to?

You: I cannot tell you, or the Yeerks might find us.

You: they might be tracking this signal right now...

Stranger: shoot

Stranger: what can we do about it?

You: you can do nothing. are you a Controller?

You: perhaps you CAN do something. but not if you are a Controller

Stranger: im not a controller, dw

You: okay then. if someone approaches you, and tries to recruit you into a group called The Sharing...

You: DO NOT GO THERE

You: that is how they make Controllers

Stranger: do i have to pay to go up the ranks?

You: NO! do not join the Sharing! or you will be a slave to the Yeerks!

You: you will lose all of your own free will to the slimy slug wrapped around your brain

Stranger: ok ok, what do these recruiting people look like? and will they get upset if i refuse?

You: they look like normal humans. that is why they are dangerous. and if you refuse, they may leave you alone for now.

You: just hope that my friends and I can defeat the Yeerks before they take over completely

Stranger: what do you call your friends?

You: My friends call themselves... The Animorphs.

Stranger: awesome

Stranger: can u morph into animals?

You: yes. that is how they came up with the name

Stranger: clever, what animal do u morph into?

You: but they hadn't found me yet

You: there is no limit to how many animals we can morph

Stranger: ahh impressive

You: all you have to do is touch an animal, then picture yourself changing into it

You: but first, you must touch the Escalif Device - the Blue Box

You: that is how you get the morphing technology

Stranger: is it a good life

Stranger: ?

You: sometimes. we still must fight in many dreadful battles

You: but... flying in bird of prey morph is truly wonderful

You: my bird of prey morph is the Northern Harrier

Stranger: it sounds good, but the downside is you have to touch animals

Stranger: and we all know animals are filthy inferior creatures

You: you only have to touch the animal once, then you can morph it any time you want

Stranger: that one touch is more than i can bear

You: and I do not believe Cassie would like to hear you call animals "filthy inferior creatures"

Stranger: who be cassie? the resident hippy?

You: what is a "hippie"? I believe I met one when we travelled to the past with the Time Matrix

Stranger: thats a shame, hippies are the scum of the world you see

You: I see. but I must disagre. Yeerks are surely worse

Stranger: hmm, its a judgement call

Stranger: hippies are a stain on the world

Stranger: are these yeerks?

You: Yeerks are a stain on the galaxy, a slowly but surely spreading stain

Stranger: these yeerks sound badass, how do i sign up?

You: no! if you "sign up", then you will lose your free will! the Yeerk will have access to every memory in your head!

Stranger: im ok with that, perhaps what u animorphs possess is merely embarassing memories u dont want these all powerful yeerks to learn of?

You: I do not think you understand. The Yeerk crawls in through your ear, and then it has full control over your body. you cannot move blink, talk. the Yeerk does it all for you. and It will kill, with your hands, without hesitation

Stranger: it sounds ok really, just kinda lazy, letting the yeerks do shit

You: If you have a Yeerk in your head, you cannot do anything except scream in a corner of your mind. the Yeerk thinks, says, does cruel things against the humans. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? it will enslave your entire race! would you rather be a traitor to you own race?

Stranger: im not a fan of my race to be honest, alot of them are bad people, and deserve justice from these noble yeerks

Stranger: you animals are misunderstaning the threat

You: *sigh* you sound like Cassie. how do you not understand this? the Yeerks care nothing for the discomfort of other races. Hundreds of races are now slaves to the Yeerk Empire! they only wish for power! they take away freedom and free will!

Stranger: whats the problem, do people possessed by yeerks feel and physical pain?

You: yes! the Yeerk can use your body to fight, and then, when you are about to die, they slther from your ear and save themselves!

Stranger: but the very presence of them being inside me doesnt hurt me?

You: when they infest you, take over you, crawl inside your ear, it causes extreme pain - unles they excrete a numbing agent they are capable of making. and it's a very rare Yeerk that chooses to lessen the pain their host feels

Stranger: damn, i guess ill be the neutral party in this war

You: you are either with us, or you are against us

Stranger: ill take against, animals annoy me

You: then you are no better than the cruelest Voluntary Controller

Stranger: no im a fine person, i just consider animals lesser beings

Stranger: its no biggy

You: exactly - Yeerks consider all other races to be below them. therefore, you are no better than a Yeerk

Stranger: alright, can i become a yeerk myself, and crawl into people?

You: how does that feel? that you would rather stand by and see your race suffer then to fight?

You: and no - unless you acquire a Yeerk and somehow infest a human

Stranger: damn

You: but let me tell you, you will never get the morphing technology from us! we already had a bad experience with someone who was given the morphing tchnology...

You: he turned traitor, and we had to trap his as a rat and leave him on an island, far out to sea.

Stranger: i dont understand, how do u expect me to help if u dont offer any of ur grand technology?

Stranger: i hope he got out

You: he didn't. once you stay in a morph for 2 hours, you can never get out of it

You: Tobias is the lucky exception to that rule

Stranger: oh thats quite a limitation

You: yes. quite. but Tobias is quite fortunate. he was trapped as a red tailed hawk.

You: but an enourmously powerful being called The Ellimist gave him the morphing power back

You: so now he can morph his human form - for up to 2 hours. Then he has to demorph to red tailed hawk

You: Tobias is my shorm - my best friend, as humans would say

Stranger: cute

You: I trust him with my life, and I have no secrets from him. He does the same with me

Stranger: do animorphs have sex?

You: what is sex?

Stranger: do males and females have different bodily parts?

You: I assume so. Rachel has long hair, while Prince Jake has short hair.

You: I am very sorry, but Prince Jake has called a meeting. I must go.

You: goodbye. remember to keep fighting.

Stranger: ok, goodbye

Stranger: i enjoyed it

Stranger: the talk

You: until we meet again... good luck. From the Animorphs and myself, Aximili Esgarrouth Isthill

Stranger: we wont meet again :(

You: PS. try typing "Animrophs" and "Aximili Esgarrouth Isthill" in on Google. goodnight!

You have disconnected.


End file.
